He's on his way to FL right now, and I'm sitting here worried, watching the clock and wondering why I care. The more I think about it, the more I try to understand, I uncover that there are still feelings burried deep inside. They're not strong, they're not passionate or hot, but they're like the feelings you have for your childhood crush. You just want to know that they're going to be OK even if you no longer want to be with them.
I want a healthy relationship.
There, I admitted it. I want to be in a healthy and supportive relationship with a great guy who everyone loves. I dont want to make excuses or be ashamed of his behaviors or habits. I dont want to have a cringe when I read his emails or IMs, and I dont want to have to deal with someone who has such bad (and illegal)habits that it makes me uncomfortable. And I'm scared I"ll never meet him. A large part of me is OK with being single now. I love my son, I love the direction I'm going in life, and I love all the opportunities in front of me. However, I still have the little girl longing for her prince. I'd love someone to be there at the end of the day to share a drink with and talk about the random nothings that happend during the day before we mosey into bed, make love, and then are seperated by a bad dream or two coming in to cuddle between us.
I want someone to yell at when I'm made, and apologize to when I've cooled off. I want someone who will push me to be my best and not accept anything other than my honest effort.
In class today we read a poem in which there was a line along the lines of "I love you more than all the riches" I dont mind loving a poor man, but I want him to be an honest poor man, and man who's worked hard his life and enjoys what he's doing, but just doesnt make a lot of money doing it.
*sigh*
Back to reality...
<3 Me
BTW - I will soon have my website up and running, but the address will be www.strongreflections.com
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- MaverickMommy
- Dallas/Fort Worth, Texas, United States
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6 comments:
Stay strong...you will find someone. Some man will come along and love you and your son more than you thought possible. Don't settle for less than what you deserve.
I think he will always mean something to you. He's Cade's bio father. You have a beautiful boy with him. I don't think it's wrong or unhealthy. Just fact.
And your prince is out there. Every step you take, and every goal you achieve takes you closer to him. I know that.
What an amazing woman/mother you've grown into these last months. You deserve the best life has to offer. And he's out there waiting for you. Just keep your head up.
Love you!
Somebody once told me that as soon as your life is just the way you want it, everything is falling in to place THEN Mr. Right will come along to shake it up in a good way. It happened to me and I am sure it will happen to you.
That guy is out there. You'll find him when you least expect it, and when the time is right.
Until then, you do you ;)
~Veronica
I didn't find that until I was 33 years old. And believe me, it wasn't for lack of looking. Trust me, it takes a long time. But you sound like you really know yourself, so when you finally do meet him, you will know in your heart if he's the right one for you.
It took me 33 years to find that. And it wasn't for lack of looking. Don't force it. It will happen, and it will take a long time to happen. Rejoyce in the small pleasures you have right now, as a single girl. You know yourself very well, and when HE comes along, you will know it.
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