Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day!

Spent a lot of time the past two days with the Manns. They're loving on Cade and he's warming up to them and loving right back. It feels so good to see Hailey again and love on her smile. She's so sweet of heart, the world needs more children like her.

Jason and I took the kids to the park before dropping Hailey off at her mom's. We met another couple there with their 2 yr old boy and I ended up talking to the mother and set up a playdate for tomorrow at the park again. Invited Angie to come too hoping maybe Angie and ParkMom could become friends since both of them dont have many mom friends nearby. It made me a little frustrated that on my second day back to Michigan I run into and make a mommy friend but after nearly 6 months in Texas I've YET to make one. How cruel is that?

Jason and I also decided to take Hailey and Cade to the toledo zoo next week, and then I invited Hailey's younger sister, Layla, to come along as well so Angie could get a day to herself with 6 week old Ben. I could tell she was THRILLED. I would be too. And one more kid isn't much more work, infact they're likely to help entertain each other more rather than Hailey trying to smother Cade all day. I'll just make Jason pull the wagon with the girls and I'll push Cade's stroller. ;)

After getting Cade into bed, Jason and I grabbed and beer and he mentioned he had something he wanted to talk to me about before I go back to Texas. I have a very strong feeling he wants to talk about him and I getting back together. This just hurts me. I dont like having to tell him no. I'm soft. I dont like making people hurt. And I see more and more how deeply he thinks he cares for me. Why?

He talked about his car accident and how it was a wake up call. Good. It only took nearly dying in a car wreck when you were drunk off your ass (he blew a .14) to give you a wake up. Whatever. How can I have sympathy? He said he's been in a funk. Really? I wish I had time to wallow in my funk. I may have issues with my life, but I keep going everyday, keep pushing. I dont have the luxury of fucking up my life. He just IRRITATES me.

I dont know how I'll respond if he does talk about him and I getting together. I DONT want to be with him. Flat out, I don't. It's not even about him having to change. I just dont like for a minute the way he's treated me and what he's put me through. I will never allow my feelings for him to affect him seeing Cade, but I... argh. :-\ I guess it'll never end until I start seeing someone else and he is forced to see I've moved on.

Here's a few pictures of Hailey and Cade. :) I like them.