Welcome Back To Me

I know this is only being written because it's 11 PM and I'm wiped out and so ready for bed and so tired of already having everything go "this" way again.

I got back from MI yesterday in the afternoon. My parents got back from Hawaii in the late late evening. Last night Cade and I did pretty well together alone, with only one glitch because my mom moved everything around (all his supplies) while I was gone so I didnt know where his bath items were or his wipes, etc. Made me irritated for awhile.

This morning everything was going great, until I had both brothers come up to me twice telling me to let mom sleep in because they all got in so late last night. This just set me in a bad mood to begin. I dont really know why, maybe it was because they made me feel like I was going to try and just pawn Cade off on my mom. Maybe it was because I had kinda hoped to get a shower in before school. Whatever the reason, it didnt get my day started on the right foot.

Cade took an hour long nap, and I napped on the couch. When he woke up I took him to my mom so I cold get ready for school and ended up having to watch him while I got ready and was stumbling around my room trying to find everything while trying to keep him happy and it, again, started my day on the wrong foot. My mom was in the other room chatting on the phone about her "horrible" experience being stuck in Hawaii for an extra 4 days - with everything paid by the airline and spending cash to boot - I just kept thinking to myself "Why am I here? This would be so much easier on my own"

School day went fine, I missed the lil buggar. Came home and after ten minutes my mom climbed into my bed to take a nap. This REALLY irritates me, not just her napping all the time after I get home, but how she decides to climb into my bed to do it. We get fast food for dinner, again, because she didnt have time to cook and was too tired, fine whatever.

Then I notice that my CD player is broken. My mom BROKE m D@MNED Cd player. She told me she was trying to change the CD and pulled on the part that moves the CD in and out of the player. WTFH? She's all nonchalant about it. Seriously, WTFH? It's all jammed up and wont play anything right now and I'm so ticked about this I want to cry. WHY would you pull on anything? There is an EJECT button there for a reason. I just dont get it, really I dont.

Whatever, I'll just let it go and stay pissed on my own. We start putting Cade to bed, I get online. After awhile she and my brother walk back in the living room laughing. Apparently they decided while I was online to sneak Cade from his crib into my mom's room and spend an hour playing with him. WTFH? I thought we just had this conversation that I was Cade's mom? WHY would you keep my tired cranky baby up later than he needs to be? This kid is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO overtired from our trip in MI and needs to sleep for three days to catch back up on everything.

Then later I'm talking to my mom and tell her that I just feel like I'm always the daughter living here and never a mother. She says "well when you ask me to give him a bath you give away part of being the mother" WTFH? Bathtime is FUN. It's something I thought she'd WANT to do since she just spent a week away from him and was talking about how much she missed him. And how is letting someone else give your kid a bath related to not feeling like a mom? Guess I know better than to think she'd want to do something fun with him. It's not like I dumped a poopie diaper on her lap, I actually cleaned that for her before she bathed him.

Now, at 11 PM, I'm trying to go to bed and he wakes up. I give him his paci and notice that he's SOAKED. My mom put on the cheap diapers that I bought the last day in MI because I was out and needed SOMETHING for 24 hours. I didnt put these diapers in our diaper holder for a reason, but I guess she decided to use them anyway and now his crib is SOAKING wet, his jammies are soaked, and he smells bad. I put down new sheets, changed him, wiped him down good, and then let him with his paci and Ocean Wonders on and walked out. I'm too tired to deal with this right now. He's going to be up every couple hours all night, I have an 8 AM class, and I can't play his lullabye CD because she broke the CD player today. I'm just sooooooooooooooo pissed.

All week in MI I never had any problems like these. Never. I dont understand what it is about this place that just makes it seem like everything goes wrong. Why do they think it's OK to mess with his bedtime like that, KNOWING that he's going to be up all night now. She and I have argued about this over and over again. I want Cade to go to bed at 6 PM. She continues to tell me that's too early and HER kids never went to bed that early and my stepdad wants to see him when he gets home so I need to keep him up.

Nothing I ever do is right to her. nothing. I overhear her telling her friends on the phone that she "forgets" Cade isn't hers and feels like she's the mom. WTH? She watches him while I'm in school and does his laundry from time to time. I really feel like she really thinks she's the mother with Cade and it's causing so many problems.

I am just so SICK of everything here. Not even back ONE day and it goes to hell.

 

I'll write about my AMAZING trip to MI soon...