Nine Months

School Pride
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I can't get over the fact that he's nine months old already. In three months he will be a year. A whole year. How insane is that!

Just another day

Cant Decide
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Where I torture my kid with endless pictures in odd places.

Father's Day

He decided today was a good day to start saying "da da da da da"

why do I care?

He's on his way to FL right now, and I'm sitting here worried, watching the clock and wondering why I care. The more I think about it, the more I try to understand, I uncover that there are still feelings burried deep inside. They're not strong, they're not passionate or hot, but they're like the feelings you have for your childhood crush. You just want to know that they're going to be OK even if you no longer want to be with them.

I want a healthy relationship.

There, I admitted it. I want to be in a healthy and supportive relationship with a great guy who everyone loves. I dont want to make excuses or be ashamed of his behaviors or habits. I dont want to have a cringe when I read his emails or IMs, and I dont want to have to deal with someone who has such bad (and illegal)habits that it makes me uncomfortable. And I'm scared I"ll never meet him. A large part of me is OK with being single now. I love my son, I love the direction I'm going in life, and I love all the opportunities in front of me. However, I still have the little girl longing for her prince. I'd love someone to be there at the end of the day to share a drink with and talk about the random nothings that happend during the day before we mosey into bed, make love, and then are seperated by a bad dream or two coming in to cuddle between us.

I want someone to yell at when I'm made, and apologize to when I've cooled off. I want someone who will push me to be my best and not accept anything other than my honest effort.

In class today we read a poem in which there was a line along the lines of "I love you more than all the riches" I dont mind loving a poor man, but I want him to be an honest poor man, and man who's worked hard his life and enjoys what he's doing, but just doesnt make a lot of money doing it.

*sigh*

Back to reality...

<3 Me

BTW - I will soon have my website up and running, but the address will be www.strongreflections.com

Strong Reflections Photography

It's here. Yup I manged to pick a name. Can you believe it? HA! Excited though. I hope this works. I just hope I don't fall on my face and embarass myself.

I talked to a friend today and it hit me.

Thank GOD I got out of there when I did.

Now, I have some awesome friends. I have people in Michigan whom I love and adore and wish nothing but the best. Friends who would drop anything to help me if I needed it. But, I also had friends who were doing nothing to help me move forward in life. They were so consumed with their own faults and shortcomings they preyed upon me and cut me down. And I just realized how much I don't miss many of them.

I'm pretty much friendless here in TX. There are a few people I message on myspace now and again, but overall I just don't care anymore. School keeps me busy. Caden keeps me busy. And now this photography keeps me from sleeping. I don't feel like I have time to care that I'm not the most popular person. I have something better than friends right now, I have ambition and dreams.

Likewise, although I miss and crave the physical benefits of a man, I do NOT miss the trouble they cause and how much TIME it takes. What if I had a boyfriend right now? I'd have to pay attention to him. Men are not like dogs where you can feed and water and shove them out the door. No, they want attention. They like to come up and try to kiss you when you're on the phone, or snuggle right in the middle of your movie or TV show. They're just so damn distracting!

However, they do come in handy once in awhile when you're in the mood.

Speaking of... Jason's DUI hearing is over and he has some classes to take and a restricted license for 90 days. He's moving to FL on Monday though, go figure. *shrugs* I dunno, whatever. He's a big boy, he can make his own decisions. As for me and my son, we will continue to be happy and live well.

Off to homework...

<3 Me

My Love of 8 months

Today I watched you as you crawled away from me to your toy area, pick up a toy and play. We'd just spent 30 minutes or so crawling around the coffee table together, with my eyes tearying up at seeing you coordinate your hands and knees together to move yourself forward with the jerky speed of a drunken turtle, but you were moving. You'd graduated from the inchworm arm crawl to a real baby crawl.

And I realized that today was the first time you'd ever crawled away from me to play with a toy. How bittersweet to know that as proud of you as I am for your growth and maturation, all too soon I will forever be staring at your back watching you walk away from me. It is my only hope that as many times during the day you may run, walk, crawl or scamper away, you will always find yourself coming back at the end of the day.

I need to spend more time updating your (many) baby books. I've slacked off.

How Long? Too Long.

How is it possible to not have enough time to stop by and write about my day? How does five minutes to mention the basic happpenings really affect my sleeping schedules? I guess I can justify anything these days.



Summer school is "fine" but fast paced. I like it. I like not getting a breather during the week (for four days) and then getting the extended weekend to play. Likely as the semester goes on I wont get much play time on the weekend, but this weekend I took full advantage of all my play time with Cade and the pool. He loves to swim.



He loves to swim. He loves being in the water, splashing, kicking. We have a floatie turtle thing he likes to sit in and kick around, and then there is the regular adult float he likes to sit in as well. Such a little fish just like his momma.

We're aslo standing up now. He pulls himself up in his crib, up on the couch, on his toys, on your leg. With this comes more agile crawling and faster crawling times.

Wouldn't you know, though, that the day he actually gets the hang of this crawling thing and takes off is the day the dog has the runs and I'm running around the house trying to beat Cade to the pile o' poo, then use one hand to scrub and one hand to fend him off form getting involved in the process.

I love being a mom.

We made Archer Farms blueberry muffins last night and are enjoying the spoils of our labor this morning for breakfast. It's a good feeling.

And although I'm really enjoying this blogging session, the sky has turned green outside with billowing clouds and I feel my maternal instincts telling me to go check the weather station, "just in case".

Hopefully soon,

Me