Ain't That Funnay...

Most of you might not know this, but I'm a really sensitive person. There are a lot of things I'm insecure about when it comes to myself. Maybe that's not the best word? Maybe "unsure" is more like what I'm trying to say. Either way, it always puzzles me when I stop to think about "friends".

I've put the quotes in because, when I think about things right now, I don't really have a whole lot of friends left. With Caden here, being a single mom, and moving across the country... well... it puts me in an odd group I guess.

Plus, I'm picky about who I call a friend these days. I dont like to throw that term around without it meaning something. You have to earn the right to be called a friend of mine. And mainly you earn that by showing me you're someone I can get along with and someone I can trust.

To expand on the getting along part... I'm wondering tonight why I never really fit in with so many of the other women at the playgroup. I could try to blame it on the fact that most of them were married and I wasn't, but really, I know that's not it. I just didnt click with them, even though I tried. Oh, yeah, what a laugh. I tried so hard to connect with so many of them. But it didn't happen.

Anyway, I randomly see them around or bump into them and it's very weird for me. I dont really have anything against most of them. There were only a very very select few that I honestly didn't like. But still I know that it would never work to try and repair bridges or become friends again.

I don't really go there anymore. I don't really see a point. There are far too many that I don't get along with to make it worth my time to go for the few I enjoy being around. And now especially since so many are talking about being pregnant or starting to try for another baby... I feel so left out. I feel jealous at their having more kids already. Not being married, just that they have having another baby. I would love to be in a financial position to have another right now.

But either way, I still sit here at night, alone, wishing I had someone to talk to. My photography keeps me busy, there's always something to work on there, and school is soon going to be kicking my butt. But I still miss those random pointless conversations. Those quirky inside jokes. And the private vents and snarks that I shared once upon a time.

I wish I had the ability to eat more crow and talk to some of them and explain I never had anything against them. Really. It was just those two. Honest.

But I don't think they'd care.

Poison Control.

I am posting this because I want to remind all mommies to plug in the number for Poison Control into their cell phones and memory.

If you have a poisoning emergency, call

1-800-222-1222

I had to use this number yesterday. I was proud of myself for being able to keep my wits about me. Yes I was. Thankfully it wasn't a real serious situation. It started with Caden waking up at 5 AM as he seems to be wanting to do these days. 5 AM is just too early for me, I don't think I'm technically alive that early. So I've rearranged my bedroom into a little safe haven for him and I let him out of the crib when he wakes up really early, turn on the TV and I snuggle back in bed while he plays with his toys.

Yesterday about fifteen minutes after I did this I was woken up by a peculiar giggle. Much too happy giggle. The kind of giggle where you know someone did something they weren't supposed to. Yeah that kind. I opened my eyes to see Caden covered in some sort of white mess and gleefully laughing at himself. A closer look noticed a tube of Desitin Creamy in his hands.

This is where the cussing and groaning started.

So I wiped him up, cleaned all the white creamy-ness I could find. Changed his clothing and diaper. Then picked up the Desitin tube and looked on the back. Who knows how much he actually ingested. I don't think he ate much, but never know... The tube, of course, says to contact poison control.

*sigh*

Just what I wanted to do before heading off to class for the day.

So I jumped online and looked up the number ( 1-800-222-1222) and spent two minutes talking to a helpful and reassuring voice. "Give him something to drink, watch him, expect a little diarrhea".

And that was that.

But it made me realize, I never would have thought to double check to see if someone had put the diaper bag in a corner of my room. But it was there, he got into it, and now I know better. And now I know the number to poison control (800-222-1222) hopefully after seeing it three times you do too. And should the unthinkable happen and we need to call them, we'll both have the number programed into our phone.